Compliments

I got a compliment recently. I still smile just thinking about it. Every day, I am told that I am smart, that I am loved and that I am beautiful. The repetition goes a long way to convincing me that I am all of these things, but sadly it also robs the words of some of their power. They come to sound clichéd and worn to my sceptical ear.

A unique compliment, on the other hand, rarely fails to give me that special glow of warmth within. It shows that the person who says it has considered their compliment, and taken time to frame it within, acknowledging the individuality I want to feel I have. While I can recognise the special qualities of these considered personal comments, I find it very hard to give these sorts of compliments to others. They make me feel awkward and fumbling, unable to find words that don't sound ridiculous or cliche.

In part, this journal is here so that I can work on how I word things, brushing up on my pacing and the flow of my ideas. Too often I resort to clichés or brusque approximations that fail to communicate how I really feel about the person. Too often my real feelings, including love, admiration and gratitude, are expressed by tears instead of by thoughtful words. I’ll think of this as a June-and-beyond resolution to try to change that.

In contrast, some compliments gain force by way of their simplicity. The compliment I received last night was simply ‘you are a good friend’. It’s one of the best compliments I could ever get. I hope to earn it more.